To discard means to get rid of something that is no longer useful or desirable to you. This is exactly what the narcissist does to people in their life when they no longer feel that person adds value to them. The narcissist sees people as objects they use to meet their needs, and to discard when the person no longer serves a purpose for them.
A narcissist will discard when the person no longer can boost the narc’s ego or be the fuel to replenish their narcissistic supply.When you are with the narcissist, you are not providing companionship and love in the sense that most relationships thrive. Rather, for the narcissist, you are there to feed their ego, boost their self-esteem, and feed their narcissist supply. You are the reason they exist because they cannot do any of those things on their own. On the surface, they appear competent and confident. But deep down they are fragile and broken.
They use others to get their own needs met because they cannot do this themselves. The narcissist will treat you like you are the most important person in their life and shower you with love and gifts. However, this is only meant to keep you around and not with the intention of you feeling better. The act of love bombing and idealization is meant to pull you into the relationship and have you be a ready source to feed their supply when needed.
However, all good things must come to an end and few things can serve as a supply forever. When the narcissist feels that you are no longer serving them, they will discard you. The narcissist lacks empathy, which prevents them from understanding how their words affect others. They cannot put themselves in someone else’s position and understand that they can be brutal and mean. For this reason, the discard is often sudden, unexpected, and brutal. You have lost all ability to supply their narcissistic ego and in that moment of discard, you mean nothing to them.
You are worn out and empty in their eyes and that makes it easy to discard you. In addition to a lack of empathy, the narcissist also can’t take blame. To take blame for their actions leads to feelings of shame, and they cannot experience shame because this leads to narcissistic injury. When the discard happens, they can’t consider themselves as a part of the reason for the throwing away of you or the relationship. Instead, they must blame you. You are the reason things are ending and you are the reason things are so poor. You are being devalued as a way to make the narcissist feel better about themselves. This is one last chance for them to suck any supply out of you to boost their ego, while leaving you deflated on the side of the street, wondering what just happened. While you lay there feeling hurt, confusion and pain for not only the discard, but how it happened, the narcissist has already moved on to their next supply.
