I thought I’d finally gotten rid of Detelina when she abruptly blocked me last week after I went public with my story. I didn’t think I’d actually hear from her again, but I was so wrong. After posting my survivor’s story, she blocked me the very next day. A week later after she blocked me, she contacted me and tried to intimidate, gaslight, manipulate and threaten me, despite claiming she didn’t want to hear from me.
Monday, I came home from a hard day at work and I checked my discord messages, which is my usual routine, but this time something was different, my former narcissistic abuser was back in my DM’s. I had conflicted feelings when it came to reading her message, because part of me was curious to see what she had to say, and I also thought maybe she was going to apologize for the emotional abuse she inflicted on me earlier this year. I was also really worried about her using some of her past narcissistic tactics such as gaslighting, blame-shifting, and really vile language towards me again. Against my better judgment, I decided to read the message. Immediately she resorted to intimidation and bullying tactics, asking for my name and home address so that she can take it to the local police. She wanted me to believe that by opening up about our relationship, that she would have me arrested, despite the fact that I live in another country and simply told the truth about our relationship. I declined to give her my personal information because nothing I said in my blog about her was a lie or criminal.
Quickly, I realized the real reason she unblocked me. She started bombarding me with messages and started attacking XX, and accusing her of things that she hadn’t even done. She even gave me XX full name and her home address, which was just another attempt to intimidate and silence those of us who wish to speak out. You know it’s one thing to grab someone’s name or photo from their public social media accounts, and another to share someone’s home address with the intent to cause them bodily harm. She literally had her friends on the internet trying to find out where I lived as well, for who knows what reason. She even sent me a link to some random kid’s Instagram believing it was me. I can only hope she didn’t start attacking that poor kid.
After Detelina realized that I wasn’t going to give in to her demands, believe her lies, or fake attack messages that she crafted to send to her herself and her friends, claiming they were from XX, she began to belittle me and devalue me once more. Asking me if I was “that dumb or just pretending”.
Detelina then made a comment about wanting to ”vomit” when the topic turned to my feelings and how she treated me. She kept saying ”this is not about you” and attempted to direct any conversation about my feelings towards one that benefited her, such as removing my blog to protect the false image that she wants to portray to others.
I thought she would be genuine and sincere when contacting me this time around, but it was nothing but rage and attempts to devalue me all over again. However, I have a beautiful girlfriend, love my job, etc and Detelina’s attempt to devalue me this time around has failed. By the end of our conversation, she proceeded to block me because I would not allow her to manipulate and control me. She even said that she “regretted” contacting me prior to blocking. I guess because her plan failed and her narcissistic abuse no longer affects me. I even gave some thought to removing my blog about her when I thought she was genuinely hurt, but once again, she only sought me out to cause hurt. I’m not the only person who has been on the receiving end of her abuse. Those people have chosen to share their stories privately. I truly hope that one day she can become a better person and allow her victims to move on.
Mythisar, we all read your brave story and I’ve personally seen the screencaps where others have reached out to support you. You were strong enough to share your experience with us, despite knowing the cycle of emotional abuse she inflicted on you would likely start again. You were strong enough to admit that she hurt you and that you weren’t fine. I truly am sorry that you’ve had to endure such cruelty once more, but also grateful that you’ve shown other men out there that it’s ok to seek help. Thank you! -XX
