A friend of mine, who just read a few posts asked “how many private calls will he arrange today to defend himself?” I said, it’s true. Narcissists are the most charming, convincing people you’ll ever become acquainted with, esp. in private. I fell for it, “Perry” did too, and I suspect Clover as well. They can talk themselves out of anything, which is why you stay and continue to allow yourself to be abused.
You’ve been conditioned since the day he met you. You’re only still around because you serve a purpose to him. The narcissist has no real friends. When you are no longer of value “off you go”. Ask yourself what you provide for him? Loyalty, a strong account? Attention, but only when has no one more important to talk to, a high BR, lots of time to devote to GOT, an open wallet, do you listen and follow what he says, with little objections, do you stroke his ego by reminding him how great he is at GOT? Trust me, you’re being kept around, and it’s not because you’re an amazing person, (albeit, narcissistic people love empaths). It’s not because you’re his “friend”.
Don’t be fooled! Real friends know the real you and what he’s shown you, isn’t real. You might have seen traces of the real him, but you ignore it. Why? Because his rage isn’t directed at you, so you ignore it thinking he’s just some badass, when really he’s a sexist, who uses bullying tactics to intimidate everyone. No one outside of myself, Perry, and Clover know the real him. I have my doubts that Clover truly knows him, otherwise, she would have never come back into his life.
And honestly, I’m not sure why Clover returned, because she was so close to getting out. He told me the only reason he communicated with her months prior was because he was in a group with Clover, Emily and Mina. He was trying to procure Mina’s account for a merger he wanted. He said he didn’t want to ruffle any feathers by ignoring her, because he needed Mina’s account.
He told me a few weeks ago she asked if it was ok to rejoin their alt alliance, to get reacquainted with old friends. But something tells me he’s been extra nice to her starting… around April? If you’ve been paying attention, then you know narcissistic people need a new and sometimes old supply to thrive. The exchange happens very quickly, and you only see it after they have discarded you. It’s like breaking up and then 2 weeks later your ex is with a new person. You’ve been discarded. They keep you around as backup , so that once they discard the current one (that was me), you will take the role of the new/old supply, offering a fresh boost to their ego.
There is nothing more exciting to a narc than seeing an old supply return. They have done their job correctly, if you’ve returned. Then again, she never knew his true feelings that laid deep. A person who truly loves you, doesn’t devalue you before or after you’re gone. They don’t tell others that they were only engaged to you, because you put them on the spot when you proposed. I was the new supply that replaced her.
He once called “Perry” his “best friend” online, she was once more important than Epix, Dee, Morda or Peggy. Although, Peggy is more of a cash cow, not a friend. But, I’ll leave that for another time. Perry found herself discarded and bullied to tears, because she would not betray her word for him. But if you keep your head low and continue to follow his orders, you’ll never find yourself on the other side of his rage. “Always pay attention to the way a man treats his mother”. My grandma once told me this. He has zero respect for his. I’ve spoken to his mother, many months ago. She adores him, but also enables him, and she can’t see how just leaving him to rot in his attic, with his video games is ruining his life. He, unfortunately, doesn’t appreciate her. He blames her for not providing the proper support he needed when he dropped out of high school.
I never told his mother this, because it wasn’t my place to do so. Their relationship has to mend on its own. I tried many times to make him see the value in his own mother. I dealt with depression for over 10 years, still do, and I had an emotionally abusive mother. At one point, I was malnourished, and sick because she dictated when I ate, which was very little.
Living in your parent’s attic, eating their food, sleeping all day, playing video games, not working, and not paying any bills, but still despising the woman who provides for you, was something I could never understand. Hell, she does his laundry cause he doesn’t know how. I wish I had a mother like his, one who is so understanding and loving, despite my faults. This was another warning sign, I ignored. Without respecting his own mother, how could he ever respect me or any woman?
He didn’t/doesn’t. He always brags about his high IQ, but the truth is, he simply thinks he’s smarter than you, me, and everybody. Even with only a middle school education, and no work experience, you are beneath him. He takes great pleasure in swaying people, it’s a talent he has. If he’s not trying to convince you of something, he’s bullying and barking orders at people online from the comfort of his attic. Sure, I’m likely a “psycho” for starting this blog, but that doesn’t change my experience, it doesn’t make what I say not true. It doesn’t dismiss or diminish the emotional abuse that occurred.
