Why did he cheat with Detelina Marinova?

Name: Detelina Marinova

Age: 43-45

Place of birth: Bulgaria

Languages: Bulgarian, English (UK)

Related addresses: 11 Stainfield Road, Headington, Oxford, England, OX3 9DH, 117 Edgecot Grove, London, N15 5HH, 33A, St. Kildas Road, Harrow, HA1 !QD

Last known POE: Cambridge University Press

Known associates: Nina Keskikalio, Simon East, Dee Hares

Method of abuse: Narcissistic, mental, verbal, manipulation, gaslighting

Targets: Males, ages 20-30 with an online presence

She’s an arrogant narcissist who boldly laughed at my situation without realizing that redhead she trusted was sharing everything with me.

We took a break/up in April and right around that time is when he told me Detelina asked to return to his server and join his ALT alliance to rekindle her old friendships. Before my revealing that he was Alucard, and before he cruelly broke up with me,(because I was spiraling after he became irate when I expressed how I was feeling), I tried to make him understand what was happening with me. I told him that I felt like something was going on between them, I blatantly said the situation was hurting me, that I didn’t feel secure about us anymore.

He didn’t care, he didn’t want to hear it. On one hand, he’d say “talk to me” but whenever I’d try to talk to him, he didn’t want to deal with it. He’d just yell and dismiss my feelings. The man who once claimed that it was “us vs the world” suddenly turned his back on me, and I couldn’t understand why. At the beginning of our relationship, I never tried to downplay what they had together, he did. I knew she loved him, and because she did, I never allowed him to pretend that she never mattered to him. Suddenly, the woman who he had told me he quickly got over after their breakup was now part of the reason he was devaluing me. The old supply had returned to his life, and I didn’t have a place it in anymore.

Months ago he wanted all of us to join the same alliance, and I felt very uncomfortable about it. Narcissists love creating triangles because It gives them a sense of validation and power knowing that they have so many admirers, who are willing to bend over backward and give them the praise and attention they constantly need. I ultimately declined his offer. Three months before my devaluation began, he would have done anything to make me feel “ok”.

Now my “partner” was losing interest in me, because someone else was offering him the attention that he once needed from me. He lied and told me a few weeks ago that she was still in Bulgaria, but he knew that she was back in the UK and had a new job. I guess he thought by lying about her being nearby, I wouldn’t become suspicious of them. They have been together for months now, despite lying to everyone about their status. I just recently learned the truth about what really happened and it’s why I couldn’t let go of the nagging suspicion that something was going on.

She’s been gravitating back to him for quite some time now, even though she bragged to anyone who would listen about her romantic Tinder conquests, showing off pictures of her “hot” matches. A short time after they broke up, she added him back on Discord. He told me he ignored it and everything else coming from her, cause he wanted nothing to do with her. He told me the only reason that he later spoke to her in the group chat was because of the potential merger, and he wanted the “Mina” account. But she would continue gravitating, slowly, despite claiming she had quit the game for good. Not many suspected what she was doing, I did. The odds of him cheating on me with her were very high.

She once falsely accused her own ex-husband Simon (who she considers her soulmate) of cheating on her, and some years later would admit that she wanted him back, if/when he divorces his current wife. Most narcs love to”hoover” their past partners. “Narcissistic hoovering refers to attempts made by the narcissist to bring you back into their life”. She calls Simon her “best friend” because she’s hoovering.

She always found ways to make sure the link between her and Radu was never broken. Even a few weeks after they broke up, she claimed she likely wouldn’t speak to him again, but then later went on to add him as a friend on Discord. There is also a tactic called “TBTM” (the being their method), which consists of someone inserting themselves back into the life of an ex, while pretending to only be there for friendship. The end goal is to win their former lover back. They hang around the ex, making sure to be as supportive as possible, while the ex is in a current relationship. They do this with the intent of causing conflict between the current couple. This is what she started to do while he and I were together. Ultimately resulting in him cheating on me and breaking up with me 5 days after they started back “playing” again.

But she’s always acted as his protector, cleaning up his messes, “fixing” things for him. DMing people to apologize after he verbally attacked someone. She sat by and watched him bully so many people, and she did nothing. I too allowed it, but at least this was my first go-around. I didn’t leave for months claiming I wanted nothing to do with the “ungrateful prick” as she had. He’s not a prick, a prick doesn’t have the ability to bring a woman to tears because of a stupid video game. He’s much worse! He’s the monster that presents an outward image of a child.

But it’s only once you look deep inside, do you ever see him in his true form. Maybe someday Detelina will actually apologize for cheating with him, rather than lying to everyone about being back with him. I doubt she will, because like the hollowed abuser that she loves to protect, she actually finds all of this funny and is enjoying the attention she’s receiving from my blog, similar to how he craves the attention. And she’d never tell him to clean up the mess he created, like a big boy. But, like the fool, she’s always been, she thinks it’s never his fault and feels it’s her duty to shield him from everyone.

Sadly, we know cheaters and the people they cheat with have no remorse for their infidelity. Cheating with an ex when they are involved with someone else doesn’t make it any less horrible, just because you had them first.