I met CloveR (Detelina) on K8 when I was randomly going around attacking players in my ATD alliance. She started an 8-hour rally on me from her alt account, and she later mailed me asking why I decided to pick on the ”little ones”. She joked about how much grain I had, which prompted me to reply if she liked what she had seen. We immediately became really good friends after this. CloveR and I talked off and on casually while she was dating IAMLEJND/Radu and one day she wrote me saying she left him and was heading to the UK from Bulgaria. This was surprising for me to learn because I always thought they had a good relationship. I later found out that the reason she left him is that he was always late for things they had planned. She talked about Radu like a dog to me, mentioning all his ”shortcomings” etc. I hardly knew anything about him, she just ranted to me about him.
She shared many stories of her troubled dating history and her fears that she’d become a “serial monogamist” where she dates a new man every 6 months, after becoming bored by them, because she keeps picking “unsuitable” men. Along with how in her teen years, during high school, she would date boys and “leave them” with no thought about it. When she first wrote this sort of stuff to me, I did not think anything about it because I really liked her and overlooked it. During her time on Tinder, she bragged to me that one potential bachelor arrived to pick up her in a Porsche and another time a pilot had flown from an island and “landed” in her backyard for a date. I questioned in my mind if she was telling the truth. But once again, I ignored it, because I was still interested in her. So, a few months later, I started to really like her and asked her to marry me in-game. She did and I paid for the wedding in-game and around 22 people joined and we had lots of gifts. She even created the wedding announcement for us.
It seemed things were going really well between me and her, we talked a lot and even planned to meet in real life. When guys in-game would flirt with her, she would always tell them that she was taken by me. Things were fine between us until a new guy named Alexis came around and she slowly started to reduce the time she was spending with me. She went from being really talkative to her writing me about 15 mins out of the day. My thought process was that if we liked each other, wanted to meet, and were pretty much dating, and she is not writing me, well who is she talking to? This went on for weeks until I couldn’t take it anymore. I confronted her about Alexis and she tried to gaslight me, like narcs do, claiming he was a friend and I have nothing to worry about. I asked her if he tried flirting with her one day and she avoided it. I was not satisfied with her reply and my gut told me something was wrong. So, a week later I asked again and she admitted Alexis was flirting with her. Basically, like all narcs, they like people who will just be quiet and settle for how they mistreat empaths. Once I started to speak out, she did not like this and it seemed as if her rage started to come out. I did not know who she was! Where was the super nice CloveR I knew from K8, the woman with who had shared her personal life with me? This seemed like a new person.
So, after all of this, I came home from the gym (because I love working out) and noticed that I’m divorced in-game. I asked her about it because it was shocking to me. She basically claimed she could not do this anymore and how ”painful” it was. She divorced me and went into being Alexis’s protector right away, while having no care in the world if I got zeroed, due to my shield coming down while I was not at home and having her marriage shield on me. She used to always send me extra RSS daily from her farms and stopped doing this after the divorce.
All of those resources were now being funneled into Alexis’s account daily. It was hard to watch. She acted like I was nothing to her and my feelings were nothing. How was I in so much pain but she was having so much fun with her new supply? During KvK she and I would always gather side by side, but once she left me for Alexis she made sure I saw them gathering together during KvK. They would always change to the same castle skin in our hive to make me jealous, and never a day went by where they had different castle skins. She did all of this in my face and did not care.
A female friend of mine named [redacted for privacy] decided to try and flirt with Alexis before she divorced me in hopes of making him back off CloveR for me. But that did more damage and she blamed me for it. I asked her why she cared that a grown woman [redacted for privacy] was talking to a grown man (Alexis ) that she claimed was just a friend. The truth is, she liked him the entire time and that explains why she started spending less time with me. I was blamed for the actions of another woman flirting with Alexis. CloveR ended up leaving ATD with Alexis to go be happy in another alliance, while I was stuck in ATD with all my friends turned against me thinking I ran her off, which is not the case! She turned all my friends into flying monkeys.
The players who I played with for 2 years or so… spent countless 8-hour castle sieges with and spared no troops for were now talking about me behind my back based on the lies CloveR told them. I did not pester her once she discarded me for Alexis, I let it be, but it hurt like hell! I spent weeks hoping she would come back and write me and it never happened. To this date, she has never said another word to me and we broke up around Feb 7th or so. She told me she would never marry again, but married Alexis on Valentine’s Day while I was left to suffer — not even a few days after what she did to me.
Narc abuse is one of the worst things anyone can endure! And coming out is hard because some people don’t understand the feeling due to not understanding narcissists. Usually, they get tired of hearing about it and will let you know to just move on. She recently divorced Alexis in-game because he accidentally attacked one of her friends in KvK. Alexis thought she was a nice person because of the love-bombing phase. But I guess attacking the wrong person in KvK gets you divorced or she’s found a new/old supply. The old ATD is split, but she still “hoovers” my old friends, making them into hers and spreading lies about me. She joins them in their current alliance on the many ALTS she has. The woman who I really cared for and was once a good friend to me literally ruined my GOT experience, and the rep I worked to build after being there for my team, was all torn down because of HER.
For a while, I was bitter and filled with rage after what this narc did to me, but after hundreds of support videos on Youtube, I pulled myself out of that dark place and vowed to not allow her to take anything else from me, because I believe she wanted to make me dark and empty inside like her. It did not work. I’m just glad I’m now healed from her and can think of her while not caring or having any emotions. One good thing came out of this and that’s I’ve learned the real dangers of narcs, and how to protect myself from them.
I would like to thank our guest writer, Mythisar for coming forward and sharing his story. Many people don’t realize that men often suffer in silence after dating the female narcissist. The effects of narcissistic abuse are still the same, and just as damaging. I really commend you for taking time out to share with us! Thank you. – XX
[…] Narcissist Abuser – After Detelina used Mythisar for attention, played with his heart, and then discarding him, only to return to mentally abuse […]