Detelina Marinova (CloveR)

I remember when he was upset at me for messing with his GOT business. He told me on Facebook I’d end up in the trash “as Clover and Lavin did”.

Radu sought me out and I fell for his narcissist charms. He made everyone believe she was the enemy after the breakup. He posted screencaps of her calling him an “ungrateful prick” but never explaining why she was so angry at him. He made us all believe she was the bad guy, changing his passwords, and trying to “steal” his GOT accounts. After dating him, I understand everything so clearly now.

About a month and a half after they broke up, he was in my DM’s messaging me. He had turned his attention to me after months of barely speaking to me. I guess I always sort of liked him, but I’m not two-faced and I’d always been friendly with Detelina, so I would have never flirted or gone after him, in any manner. I knew she loved him, and I was genuinely happy for her/them. I never crossed the line with him, EVER.

He came after me with full force! I didn’t realize at the time that I was the rebound (the new supply) that he was using, so he wouldn’t feel the loss after she left. He’s a narcissist and they often replace you with a new “supply”, when they grow tired of the current or they were abandoned. When I asked what happened between him and Detelina, he always maintained that a “single” fight is what broke them up. There was some issue with him neglecting some preparations prior to their move. They fought, exchanged heated words and she left him. Three weeks into our “relationship”, he was already telling me that he loved me. Red flag #1. Two months later, he had already proposed to me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Red flag #2. Initially, I asked that we just remain friends, because I’d seen many articles about rebound relationships. But he continued to lovebomb me, refusing to let me go. Citing his strong feelings, our connection as the reason, he didn’t want to just be friends.

He wanted me to come for a holiday, but what I didn’t know at the time was that he was unemployed and had no education of any kind, and had no desire to change his current situation. His only job was moderating for GOT. He would often say he was on “shift” and I just assumed this was a paid job. I mean who invites someone for a luxury vacation, but they don’t actually have any money to spend? Clearly, he expected me to spend thousands for both of us.

He built me up over the course of several months, as most narcs do. Telling me that he’s never felt the way he has about me with anyone, not even Detelina. He said I was the first woman he ever truly loved, and that I made him want to change his “bum” life. He said his feelings for her were never that strong, so he got over the breakup quickly. He claimed they stopped having sex, because he had to always initiate it, and that the only reason they were ever engaged is that she asked him, by putting him on the spot in a group call, so he didn’t want to embarrass her by saying no. According to him, he never wanted to marry her. Many times, he joked that Epix told him that he didn’t think he and Detelina were well-matched or had anything in common.

I believed what he said about their relationship because he always downplayed it. In the beginning, he claimed his feelings for her were true, then after he put me on a pedestal (months later) he revealed what he truly never felt inside for her. I wish I had paid attention to change. But I was a fool! I was always very worried that I was being used as some sort of rebound, and every time I would question how he could be over her after a long two-year relationship, he would remind me that it wasn’t 2 years, and assured me that he was long passed her, and would never let her come back because she messed with his accounts.

He told me I was his “one”. The woman he wanted to marry and have children with. He even told me to freeze my eggs, so that we could have children later if we decided to. I still can’t believe I was so stupid thinking I could have children with someone who plays video games day and night and has no interest in working a paying job or even going outside for fresh air. Knowing everything I know now. I was in a scam relationship with someone who didn’t love me at all. He falls in and out of love with anyone who feeds him attention and adoration, but it’s not real love. No one knows what he’s like. He makes you believe that what you want matters, that he cares, he doesn’t. He never remembers anything you do for him. You can break your back for him, and he’ll toss you away like trash if you deny, disagree, or go against him. He emotionally abused me countless times, gaslighted me to no end, and performed “experiments” on me that left me emotionally distraught.

No, he never physically abused Detelina, but the rest of us who were in his life has been emotionally abused by him. When he and Detelina broke up, he devalued her and minimized their relationship. I know for a fact that she did a lot for him, especially after they moved in together. She also tried to motivate him and get him to change his life.

One thing I’ve learned is to pay attention to how a man talks about his ex. He devalued Detelina and he later went on to devalue me, and he will also minimize what he did to me, and everything I tried to do for him. Sure, he can call me crazy or psycho, or whatever other colorful names he typically calls us little women, but the truth is, he and I both know what he did to me. He’s apologized to me so many times. Often saying how sorry he was after verbally abusing me, saying things like “you didn’t deserve that”, or blaming his temper. But, he’d also frequently recite the abuser’s mantra: “you know how I am, so why would you provoke me”.